Fun little trick I learned in therapy: validation. When someone is upset, don’t try to fix the problem, point out the cause, or tell them it could be worse. Just validate their emotions. Be like, ‘shit yeah man, that sucks. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I’m here for you.’ That’s literally all you have to do to make them feel better. Thank you and goodnight.
There is no person in the world who is made to handle every punch that’s thrown at them. We aren’t made that way. In fact, we’re made to get mad, upset, sad, be hurt, stumble and fall. We aren’t supposed to be able to handle everything. But that’s what makes us stronger in the end, by learning from the things that hurt us most.
When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not only because it settles the question for you, but because in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for.
I wanna do something productive but I don’t wanna leave my bed a classic novel written by me
broke and beautiful
poor and pretty
the only dime i have is myself
Penelope Douglas (via chewingdirt)
i really needed to read this tonight
Acting like you don’t care is not letting it go.
I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
You’ll never be her.
And you know something? You shouldn’t try to be. When the moon is breaking through your windowpane and breaking through your ribs and breaking into your brain as you picture him kissing her - when the night tastes sour and so do your tears
do not wish your body could curl like a comma and become small like her, do not wish your voice could swell to fill a room like hers does, do not wish for her talents and her charisma, do not wish that you could grow out your hair or take scissors to your rolls or open yourself up and become perfect like her.
He doesn’t love you, but that’s not your fault. Some people don’t fit together. Do not cut yourself to shreds for his benefit. If she is his real puzzle piece, that means your real one is out there too, waiting. And he or she or they will love you with enough force that you will feel the ground shake - and somewhere there will be a person just as jealous of you as you are in this moment. My love, my heart: somewhere, there is a person wishing to be all that you are. They are sitting in a dark room and the light of their soul is quietly extinguishing itself in jealousy.
And I know in this moment this doesn’t matter to you, but know that the trees and the birds and the newborn puppies all still think you’re perfect, know that nature never judged someone for their grades or whether or not a boy kissed them and meant it. And I know - I know - that when people leave, it feels as if the world turned cold, but
my darling, you are not broken. You will remember how to love the night with her danger and fireflies and you will remember how to love your hair with the slight curl that will never straighten and you will remember that this body was a whole ocean undiscovered, that even you are still noticing new freckles and how your veins connect like tree branches.
When you feel whole again, it will not be because you have replaced him with the bitter smoke of another person. It will be at six in the morning when you are standing in the shower and are finally able to take a deep breath and feel a little okay again. It will be when you are sitting in bed with the moon peeking shy through your window, blushing with her white cheeks, and you will tilt your face up to her and say, “I’m sorry, my love, I had forgotten all that you gave me” and even though there will be no great shift or revelation, you will just be alright again.
My love: breathe. Cry until you are hollow and then fill your body with anything but the smell of his sheets.